As the year ends, and we look back at the joys, achievements and disappointments of the past twelve months, it’s worth taking some time to recognise what our efforts have demanded of us and where our resources have been depleted.
Whether you have spent 2015 bringing some long-cherished project to fruition or simply trying to keep your head above water, it’s likely that this has come at some cost to you.
I feel slightly diffident writing to my own prompt. I’m also amused, both by my own foresight in knowing that I’d be feeling like a wrung-out dishcloth by this point in the winter, and by Kat’s timing in putting it up today, when I am feeling much like a wrung-out dishcloth that I was sent home sick from work, and have spent most of the afternoon asleep.
What have I spent 2015 doing? Editing Speak Its Name and preparing it for publication. (I’d rather hoped that it would be out in the world at this point; it’s getting there, but slowly, slowly… I’ll take stock at the end of December, and hope to be able to give a publication date then.) Planning and executing what one of my colleagues calls a ‘birthday parade’ – a succession of activities and celebrations to mark my 30th birthday. In my case, it was a four-day walk from Reading to Winchester, which I am intending to write up on this blog before too long, a birthday party with a ceilidh and a ride on a 1935 Renault TN4F and a 1959 Leyland Tiger Cub (both buses, if you were wondering!), and seeing Joan Baez at Cambridge Folk Festival. Replaying an old work pattern, where I get bored in a quiet period and then over-commit myself for a busy one. Working through some fairly mind-blowing mental revelations.
Yes; it makes sense that I am feeling a little run-down! And I’m still in this over-committed pattern: coming down with this bug today has meant that I’ve missed two social activities already, and am likely to miss at least some of the four planned for the long weekend. The first day I have that’s completely free, where I have nothing planned and no obligations to anyone, is 22nd December. I’m not going to let that happen next year; I’m going to fight for my free weekends.
This year I’ve also come to notice just how much of an introvert I am. The week where I had two conferences, a leaving do, a 60th birthday party and a huge family lunch was a bit of an eye-opener; I ended up hiding downstairs crying on that last day. I am reluctantly realising that I just can’t cope with that many people for that sustained a length of time. I need to build much more solitude into my life.
So how to replenish my resources? I wrote yesterday about a two-weeks-on, two-weeks-off cycle. I would like, without burdening myself with yet more obligations during this over-committed Advent, to start thinking about things I can do during my recovery weeks to refresh myself. More: I would like to start doing those things now. I would like to find blissful gaps in all this bustle and charivari. Why not? I need replenishing now.
Take long, warm, baths. Shut my study door. Read poetry. Wander around parks and museums in my lunch break. Read old, familiar books. Read new, exciting books. Lie on my sofa and listen to grand opera. Go for long walks. Notice things.
What do I need most of all at this moment? To go to bed. Good night, all.
14 thoughts on “Reverb day 4: stocktaking and replenishing”
Kathleen, thank you for today’s prompt! It has helped me figure out what I need for the remainder of this year to restore my weary spirit…thank you also for sharing your discovery of introversion. I have discovered this year that I lean toward High Sensitivity Personality and I am more careful about how much time I spend around people with negative energies these days. It helps to know this so I can take care of myself =)
I’m so glad it’s been useful! All the best with exploring HSP – certainly I have found life makes much sense since I started thinking about introversion and how it affects me. Sometimes it really helps to have a label!
Baths, reading, & walks- YES to slowing down & tuning in! I look forward to responding to this prompt after I get home from the school run. Hope you’re feeling better today. 🙂
What a useful prompt to reflect on Kathleen – thank you! How exciting your book is nearing reveal and how wonderful you had such a fabulous birthday “parade.” But I certainly can see how so much going on plus the overcommitting can lead to deep depletion. Sounds like you have a great sense of what’s restorative for you though, and I’m wishing you long deep fills of all them. And plenty of sleep.
Kathleen, your prompt has been a wonderful window into something we all need to make choices about to keep the cycles of our lives balanced and operational. As a person who looks like an extrovert from the outside I have found it helpful to nurture the interior introvert by blocking out time on the calendar making ‘spaciousness’ an important appointment.
Thank you – I’m glad you’ve found it useful. I realise that where I’ve been going wrong these last few years is in assuming that just because there’s nothing in my diary for a particular day, it’s free. I’ve already started writing ‘keep free’ on some weekends for 2016!
What a great prompt, thank you for writing it. I seemed to have answered in a different direction than most others, but I think that just means you wrote it in such a way it was adaptable to our own individuality.
Yes. Thank you for the prompt. It was interesting to me to answer the question. My answer came quickly out of my fingers…. and then the question was how to ensure that I do what I need to do.
Kathleen, I missed blogging on this topic and hope to make it up. I was attending my Uncle Ken’s funeral in Florida and just couldn’t keep up. I really relate to the discovery late in life about my own introversion. I used to criticize myself for getting reduced to tears after being too present with large groups of people. Then I discovered I could confidently proclaim that I need quiet time and that I must leave the group energy in order to preserve myself. People have begun to accept that. Now I have the ability to negotiate doing large gatherings. I can attend for a while but will leave when I feel depleted or tearful. I’m so glad you are here blogging during REVERB15!
I think I first heard about the concept of introversion/extroversion from the chaplain in my first year of university, so over a decade ago now. It’s taken me a while to work out how best to work with it!
I’m sorry to hear about your loss, and I hope the funeral was a blessing.
Kathleen Jowitt 
Kathleen, thank you for today’s prompt! It has helped me figure out what I need for the remainder of this year to restore my weary spirit…thank you also for sharing your discovery of introversion. I have discovered this year that I lean toward High Sensitivity Personality and I am more careful about how much time I spend around people with negative energies these days. It helps to know this so I can take care of myself =)
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I’m so glad it’s been useful! All the best with exploring HSP – certainly I have found life makes much sense since I started thinking about introversion and how it affects me. Sometimes it really helps to have a label!
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Baths, reading, & walks- YES to slowing down & tuning in! I look forward to responding to this prompt after I get home from the school run. Hope you’re feeling better today. 🙂
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Thank you! I was still a bit wobbly, but a lot better overall.
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What a useful prompt to reflect on Kathleen – thank you! How exciting your book is nearing reveal and how wonderful you had such a fabulous birthday “parade.” But I certainly can see how so much going on plus the overcommitting can lead to deep depletion. Sounds like you have a great sense of what’s restorative for you though, and I’m wishing you long deep fills of all them. And plenty of sleep.
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Thank you very much. Sleep definitely feels like the first step.
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Kathleen, your prompt has been a wonderful window into something we all need to make choices about to keep the cycles of our lives balanced and operational. As a person who looks like an extrovert from the outside I have found it helpful to nurture the interior introvert by blocking out time on the calendar making ‘spaciousness’ an important appointment.
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Thank you – I’m glad you’ve found it useful. I realise that where I’ve been going wrong these last few years is in assuming that just because there’s nothing in my diary for a particular day, it’s free. I’ve already started writing ‘keep free’ on some weekends for 2016!
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What a great prompt, thank you for writing it. I seemed to have answered in a different direction than most others, but I think that just means you wrote it in such a way it was adaptable to our own individuality.
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I hope so. I don’t think there’s really a wrong way to answer these prompts!
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Yes. Thank you for the prompt. It was interesting to me to answer the question. My answer came quickly out of my fingers…. and then the question was how to ensure that I do what I need to do.
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I’m so glad it was useful – thank you for stopping by to tell me!
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Kathleen, I missed blogging on this topic and hope to make it up. I was attending my Uncle Ken’s funeral in Florida and just couldn’t keep up. I really relate to the discovery late in life about my own introversion. I used to criticize myself for getting reduced to tears after being too present with large groups of people. Then I discovered I could confidently proclaim that I need quiet time and that I must leave the group energy in order to preserve myself. People have begun to accept that. Now I have the ability to negotiate doing large gatherings. I can attend for a while but will leave when I feel depleted or tearful. I’m so glad you are here blogging during REVERB15!
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I think I first heard about the concept of introversion/extroversion from the chaplain in my first year of university, so over a decade ago now. It’s taken me a while to work out how best to work with it!
I’m sorry to hear about your loss, and I hope the funeral was a blessing.
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