Day 30: what can you celebrate NOW?
Often we see our life as a humongous journey, and we believe that not only have we not arrived at our far away desired destination, but we also think we must accomplish x, y, and z, before we can declare with satisfaction that we are THERE.
For a moment, take a close look at who you are NOW. See what you can declare.
Merge the past, present, and future into one big ARRIVAL.
Describe joyously and in great celebration the BEING that you ARE.
I’m here. When I think that there were moments this year that I couldn’t see beyond the end of the week, that feels like an arrival in itself: that I’m here, and that enough mist has rolled away from the path ahead for me to be able to see where I’m going.
I’m going, but, as this prompt reminds me, I’ve also arrived. I am always arriving, always finding new things.
Here I am: slouching in my seat, sore throat, chewed left thumbnail, wearing a scarf and a fake fur throw over actual clothes. Listening to some obscure Gilbert and Sullivan (obscure enough that I can’t identify it without looking at iTunes, anyway). At the end of a cup of tea. Writing in [plot goes here] in the rough draft of my actual serious novel, upon which I am attempting to write 1000 words every day. Wondering how long it is until suppertime. Being distracted by anonymemes. All of which is OK. You know, it’s getting dark on 30th December, and this is who I am.
Where I have arrived at: knowing that I don’t have to do x, y and z. Knowing that I can do them if I want to. (I know I go on about this, but it really was one of the year’s lightbulb moments.) Knowing that I can write, and that I have already written some stuff that is damned good. Knowing that I can sing (well, not today, but usually) and that I am more of an asset than a liability to my choir. Knowing that I’m good at my job, even when I’m not quite sure what it’s meant to be, and have no idea at all where it’s going to go next. Knowing that I’m presenting myself with a reasonable degree of integrity.
This post has been difficult to write, because, helloooooo, British self-deprecation, what what? Consequently I shall stop there; but it’s been rather good for me.
Kathleen Jowitt 