A slower pace of life. Places I hadn’t found time to get to before (this is Denny Abbey). New groups, new people. A whole new world.
December Reflections 16: I said hello to…
Category: parenthood
December Reflections 8: best decision of 2023
I couldn’t immediately remember making any significant decisions, as opposed to just going with the flow, this year, but, thinking about it, there were a couple of major decisions whose results have integrated themselves so seamlessly into my life that it becomes clear that they were the right ones.
Choosing to give birth at the Rosie Birth Centre in Cambridge was one of those. Even then so much was down to things that were outside my control – what my body and the baby wanted to do, my fabulous always-had-my-back community midwife being on duty that night…
Maybe choosing to have a sweep on my due date helped nine days down the line, maybe it didn’t; activating airplane mode at eight days overdue was definitely a good idea. Anyway, I was in the right place with the right people, and it was lovely, and I still get a bit teary thinking about it now.
I’m sharing a picture of the Quentin Blake drawing in my room, although it isn’t entirely representative as in the event I didn’t have time to get into the pool, let alone look at the artwork. This motherhood lark is hard work, but my theory is that most people get something that goes irritatingly perfectly, and for me it was the birth itself.
December Reflections 5: here I am
On the sofa. I spent a lot of last year on the sofa, and 2023 continued the trend. Lately I’ve been making sure to get out of the house at least once a day, but I always end up back here. It’s a good sofa.
Christmas lights: starting early
When I was little, the Christmas tree went up on Christmas Eve. It might have been acquired a few days earlier, probably from the chap over the road who grew them in his garden, and it might conceivably have come into the house then, but the decorations would go on during the Nine Lessons and Carols from King’s College, Cambridge, at 3pm on Christmas Eve. Beginning, of course, with the lights.
These days I am a little less strict, though I enjoy Advent so much that I do tend to keep Christmas pushed back to the back half of December. But I shan’t be fighting the lights going up, because there’s a small person in the house who is absolutely fascinated by them. This afternoon we went and looked at the Christmas tree in the market square, and then visited a coffee shop with an excellent array of little white lights. Strict I may be, but I’m not going to begrudge anyone else their cheerful twinkly lights. Particularly this year.
Amicti stolis albis
I do find baptisms very moving. It’s something about it being the beginning of a journey, a step into the light. And something about the sense of community, about one person being welcomed into a huge family.
In our case it’s an excuse for a regular family party. Though our regular family is pretty huge too.
A fair ground (a goodly heritage)
It’s nice to have an excuse to ride on the gallopers/roundabout/carousel/merry-go-round/whatever you want to call it, on a bright sunny day, with the organ playing a selection from Carmen.
I mean, I’ve ridden on it on my own, without an excuse, before now, but it’s particularly nice to have an excuse.
Untitled goose garment
We had a John Lewis voucher to spend, so got some winter gear. I am not a great adherent of the cult of Pink For Girls, but all the other snowsuits were lacking in feet, sold out of the appropriate size, or unspeakably tasteful. (Read: boring. And liable to look grubby.)
Strawberry hat
Everybody loves the strawberry hat. (They tend to be favourably impressed by the baby, too, but it’s the hat that gets the attention.)
Enjoy
“Two leeks and a lemon,” I said.
“Is she calling you a lemon?” the man on the market stall said to my baby. Then he said to me, “There’ll be moments you remember. Enjoy them.”
“Enjoy the quiet,” said the woman in the bakery, leaving me to my coffee and my sleeping baby.
And indeed, lately I’ve been drawing inspiration from a mug that claims The secret of enduring is enjoying.
People say it a lot. Enjoy… Enjoy… Usually it seems to be those who became parents a while ago, perhaps regretting their own missed opportunities to enjoy. I think it’s inevitable. Enjoyment is an active thing, and sometimes (often?) you don’t have the energy to be as active as all that. But there are plenty of moments, and enjoying can be as simple as noticing.
Kathleen Jowitt 