Still no proofs. Well, no, that’s not fair – they’ve almost certainly arrived by now, but I haven’t had the opportunity to go and pick them up. I’ve been away for the last week, so I haven’t been fretting too much, but I am very aware of how much I just want to be done already.
That’s normal for this stage in proceedings.
Other things which seem to be normal for this stage in proceedings:
- wanting people to read it. The more people who read it and tell me that actually my portrayal of [whatever I’m worrying about this week] is OK, the better I feel about it.
- not wanting people to read it. People tell me about how much they’re looking forward to reading it and I mutter and shuffle. What if it’s a horrible disappointment? I’m putting my soul on a plate here. At least, that’s what it feels like. To everyone else, of course, it’s just a book. I have to remind myself that, even if they are disappointed, they’re not disappointed in my soul, but only in a book.
- relatedly, the conviction that I’ll have managed to offend all my dearest friends.
- being able to see, albeit from some distance, the point where what other people think doesn’t seem relevant any more, the point where I say: It’s done. I did the best I could. It’s just going to have to do.
2 thoughts on “I’ve been here before”
Yep, that’s pretty much the mix.
That picture, where is it? It’s beautiful.
It’s the south west coast of the Isle of Wight, looking westwards. It’s a lovely place to be on a sunny day.
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