There were some extremely Christmassy flower arrangements in the cathedral a few weeks ago, I assume for the Christmas fair. Gold ribbon and poinsettia and all that sort of thing. Now, of course, they’re all gone, and we’re paying no attention to the huge tree in the corner. Such is the tension between secular Christmas and church Advent.
All this to say that my mind doesn’t go straight to ‘flowers’ on 2 December. But, as you see, there are a few still around. Apart from this delightfully Goth polyanthus, which feels appropriate to the season in colour scheme even if it’s flowering rather earlier than I expected, the French lavender in the front garden is still going, and in the back the Peruvian lilies haven’t given up yet.
I’m beginning to feel more equal to the garden, actually. Last week I finally chopped out the sixth and last dead box bush (devoured by beetles last year along with most of the rest of the country’s) and before that I’d pruned the fruit trees and trimmed the beeches back. There are still a load of wild strawberries to pull up, but it definitely feels like an improvement. Last year I had to get a man in to get it all under control. Worth every penny – but it feels so good to have been able to do it myself this time.
This is an almost offensively photogenic bowlful, but don’t be fooled. I never used to be much of a one for yoghurt, but I’m still breastfeeding so I need the calcium. And I’m trying to keep my gallbladder from tying itself in a knot, so it’s zero fat. The fruit (Tesco ‘perfectly imperfect’, would be nicer without strawberries, which don’t freeze well and probably weren’t all that in the first place, but it’s perfectly adequate) is there to make it bearable. Greek style is, I have discovered, nicer than the normal sort, but neither is as good as proper full fat yoghurt. Occasionally I lick the spoon after doling out the toddler’s portion, just to make sure.
This has been a year of minor but inconvenient health problems, of which the gallstones have been the most serious. They first made their presence felt after last year’s Christmas dinner, got increasingly uppish through the next month, and put me in hospital with an infection and weird liver markers at the end of January. Since then I’ve been on the waiting list for removal of the gallbladder, and not eating sausages. The trick has been not to cut out fat altogether – still breastfeeding, after all – but to spread it (ha) out through the day. Most of the time I get it right. When I don’t it’s excruciatingly painful. Apparently this is a known thing among people who have recently had babies. Now you know.
I’ve also had mastitis twice, tripped over a park bench and bruised my sternum, and picked up a couple of coughs and colds from the nursery germ pool. As I say, nothing serious – in fact, in terms of overall fitness I’m probably better than I have been since 2021 – some of it a bit silly, in fact – just tedious, really. The list of things I’m looking forward to being able to eat again continues to grow.
I have caught up with all ten seasons of The Great British Sewing Bee over the last year, and, while it’s great fun, it does convey a somewhat distorted impression of sewing for fun, with an entirely artificial sense of urgency. After all, very few of us would deliberately set out to make a prom dress in five hours.
The exception, of course, is the “fancy dress costume for a child” transformation challenge; it is quite plausible that one might find oneself landed with the obligation to produce an outfit FOR TOMORROW and then cough up a quid for the privilege.
To be clear, this isn’t what happened here (apart from the charity donation bit). My child is not yet speaking and doesn’t know what fancy dress is. And I had rather more than ninety minutes warning. However, I did feel that turning:
A yellow T-shirt which we already owned
Waffley leggings which we already owned
A red fluffy pompom, a pack of which has been sculling around my house since my husband sang Mister Mistoffelees at the 2022 Discworld Convention (don’t ask)
A chiffon scarf, £1 from Oxfam
A square of brown felt, £1.40 from the haberdashery department of our local toy/bike/model/DIY/craft shop
into an ice cream, over the course of three lunchtime naps, was very much in the Sewing Bee spirit.
This was a couple of months ago, and I shouldn’t think any of it will fit any more even if it were the weather for T-shirts, however bedecked they might be. But I did find a larger, yellow, frilly T-shirt in a charity shop today, so maybe it’s worth taking some care in disassembling the thing…
I went out for a walk this afternoon, climbing from sea level, or just below, to the heady height of about twenty metres above. When I came down again I could almost believe that we had a range of hills the far side of the fen.
I also saw a spectacular shadow and several good dogs, of whom one is featured here:
My habit of observing 1 November, All Saints, as the beginning of winter often feels just as ridiculous as using the winter solstice. This year was no exception: the beginning of the month was unremittingly gloomy, but not what you’d call cold. But here we are, three weeks in and not even touching Advent yet, and it’s got properly cold (by British standards, anyway). We didn’t get the surprise snowfall that hit much of the country; instead, it’s been bright and sharp, there was a very thin layer of frost on the ground, and my ears got thoroughly chilly when I went out on the bike this morning.
I ran out of renewals on a library book, which is something I don’t remember having done in a long time, maybe never, and if I did it was probably because I’d lost the book, rather than because I honestly wanted to finish it but was going painfully slowly, which was the case here. The book in question was Eva Ibbotson’s A Glove Shop in Vienna and (as this edition was trying to market itself) Other Winter Stories. In fact I don’t think that even half the stories were particularly wintry, but never mind.
I’m very on-off with Eva Ibbotson. I adored her witch stories when I was a child. Two decades or so later I found her romances for adults simultaneously enchanting and infuriating, and reading this collection I remembered why. On the one hand, there’s the food, the scenery, and the balletomania. This collection also has a carp swimming in a bathtub, which will make perfect sense to anyone who’s encountered a Mittel- to Eastern European Christmas Eve, and made me smile. On the other, there are the manic pixie dream girls (not like other girls!) and the not-really-examined nostalgia for the Austro-Hungarian and Russian empires. I kept finding that I had to be in a very specific mood, and given that I had to be in it eighteen times over it’s no wonder that I ran right up against the renewal limit. But I got there on Thursday lunchtime, wooden spoon in one hand and book in the other, and the second last story nearly made me cry, and I remembered to take it back to the library on Friday morning, so everything was ok.
I continue to read speculative fiction on my e-reader when I find myself awake at strange hours of the night. In more or less chronological order:
Babel (R. F. Kuang) This had a stonkingly good premise and some important things to say, but I kept getting kicked out by careless anachronisms. For reasons which become apparent over the course of the book, it is vital that it is set in the 1830s; a pity, then, about the fountain pens, the respectable women thinking nothing of going into pubs, and the running water in student digs. At one point a character reflects that there will be no omnibus at that time of night. (‘Nor that decade,’ I muttered to myself.) The author has clearly gone to a lot of trouble to get Oxford right, but it’s Oxford of about five years ago. I kept reading, however; couldn’t help it.
Lady Eve’s Last Con (Rebecca Fraimow): a space caper. Our heroine is navigating intergalactic high society, trying to get revenge on the rich bore who broke her sister’s heart, and trying not to fall for his charismatic half-sister. Absolutely delightful.
The King Is Dead (Naomi Libicki): a young man who has failed to distinguish himself on the field of battle is appointed as armour bearer to the deeply traumatised brother of the eponymous late king. As complicated as that sounds, it gets more so. I really appreciated the thoughtful worldbuilding in this: religion, the way magic works, food practices, gender dynamics, all of it coming together to make a complicated and coherent society. And a really satisfying story, too.
Last week the weather – if you can even call it that – was so depressingly grey that today I’ve been particularly grateful for two bright days in a row. This isn’t anywhere special; this path runs from the bypass to a car park, and I’ve cropped another car park out of the photo. But just look at it.
This lunchtime I walked – briskly; there was a chilly wind – to Camley Street Natural Park. I had passed it many times, but never turned up the little side street to find the entrance until today. It’s a tiny sliver of wildness wedged between two great railway stations, St Pancras and King’s Cross – a managed wildness, but a wildness none the less.
The rushes are tall, and the trees are tall, and mostly still in leaf, and though you can look across the canal and see diners eating expensive lunches in the new King’s Cross development, or look into the canal and see a discarded shoe, and hear the whine of electric trains coming into and going out of St Pancras, it still has the sense of being a place set apart. I looked up, and saw fluffed-up bluetits; down, and saw coots dabbling; across, and saw a bold blackbird. I’ll be going back.
When we moved into this house, the front garden was entirely covered in chips of purple slate. Now it is almost entirely covered in green.
I don’t have a proper ‘before’ photo, because the whole thing was so boring that I never bothered (and when I finally came to getting rid of slate and planting plants I had very limited time and other priorities).
Here you see the boringness relieved by a pot of tulips:
You also see the irritating little weeds that grew among the stones. Shallow roots, but a pig to keep on top of and very obvious, at least when I didn’t have a magnificent tub of tulips to lead the eye elsewhere.
Last autumn, my maternity leave project (and I cannot at this distance think why I thought that this was a good idea) was transforming this into an actual garden, with intentional plants growing in the soil.
You might remember me asking on here for ideas of what to do with a small eastward facing plot that probably wasn’t going to get a lot of watering. A friend suggested that Mediterranean was the way to go. I’ve always loved herbs, so it didn’t take much effort to come up with a plan of rosemary against the house, lavender around the edges, and thyme as ground cover, with peonies (because what the hell, why not) to make the middle interesting. One of our bay trees (wedding present, 14 years ago) could go at the front corner, and what about an olive tree? And I was going to grow a passion flower up the railings.
I got Tony to gather up the slate chips (eventually a friend took them away to cover up a much less promising bit of ground). I ordered some plants from Thompson and Morgan, and quite a lot more from Norfolk Herbs. (I highly recommend Norfolk Herbs, by the way: their prices are extremely good and the delivery was swift.) On a whim, I threw some chamomile and bergamot into the order. The Thompson and Morgan stuff came in dribs and drabs; the Norfolk Herbs, all at once.
And every time I had a spare twenty minutes, when the baby had fed and gone to sleep deeply enough to notice that I’d handed her to someone else, I dashed out the front and put in another two or three plants. I’d leave the front window open so I’d hear when she started crying. I chucked a bulb or two in with each plant – tulips, daffodils, crocus, tête-à-tête, iris… Bit by bit, it got done.
We didn’t get all the slate up first go. For a long time afterwards I was picking up a dozen chips and moving them to the edge every time I went out.
Then, of course, everything went dormant over the winter, and I had to wait to see what was going to happen next.
The bulbs came first. A brave blue iris, then the tête-à-tête narcissi.
It was at this point that I started getting really happy with what I’d done. They cheered things up immensely.
On Mothering Sunday, I was presented with a pot of purple primulas. Those went in too.
Then the tulips flowered.
Meanwhile, the herbs were beginning to get going. Come May, there was still quite a bit of earth showing between the plants, but they’d woken up. The bergamot, which I’d thought had maybe died, was very enthusiastic.
We got our olive tree, too.
Over the summer, everything went absolutely bananas. The chamomile flowered and went everywhere. The bergamot came out such a gorgeous, vivid deep pink that I felt my whim was vindicated a hundred times over.
And it all kept going.
It’s less exuberant now, obviously: it’s November again. And I trimmed the chamomile back, and I’m half way round cutting off the dead lavender flowers. Even so, it’s less tidy than the slate was, but it’s much more cheerful and welcoming – not least for the bees. I was rather pleased to read, several months into this process, that:
If you want to help a variety of bees, the best way is to plant flowers that bloom sequentially from early spring to late autumn – even if you only have a window box or pots on a patio.
Which I seem to have achieved almost accidentally. I’m glad the bees are enjoying it. I certainly am.
I still have another page from a dead notebook to share with you, but this isn’t it. This, as you see, is an old envelope with a bit of knitting pattern written on it. Indeed, it fell out of a knitting book earlier today as I was finishing a baby hat – this hat:
Experienced knitters will see that this hat and the pattern on the envelope have nothing to do with each other. Indeed, as with the last post, I can remember exactly what I was trying to do: lengthen a short-sleeved blouse to turn it into a cycling jersey. I didn’t finish that; it’s still sitting at the bottom of my knitting bag.
I’m a bit of an intermittent knitter, you see. At the moment I am possessed with a wild enthusiasm for it, am telling myself that I am going to make all the socks in Cute Knits for Baby Feet, and plenty for myself as well. Since socks are a lot quicker than blouses I may even get a few finished. As you see, I have most definitely finished that hat.
Then I turned the envelope over, and I found something quite different:
Daisy’s friend is called Pippin.
The alien actress is bewildered by people mistaking her stage name for her real name or vice versa
I know exactly what that’s about too. Or, rather, exactly what those are about: these are two separate notes about two separate stories.
The first one is Daisy’s Yarn. (Here, have a PDF.) That got finished, rejected by whatever call for submissions I originally wrote it for, shopped around a bit, and picked up by a podcast that now seems to have vanished off the face of the earth. Fairly standard.
The second one is a Book Bus Story. Or it’s going to be a Book Bus Story. I don’t really have a proper link for that yet, but it’s going to be something like this, except a book. There’s a draft of that story on the page – it’s inspired, by the way, by the way that transport enthusiasts often make a careful note of 3267’s 1970 British registration number and ignore the real story – but I’m not happy with it yet. My hope is to get Book Bus Stories done so that I can sell it at next year’s Ventnor Fringe. Will that happen? Who knows? I have a lot of writing hopes and at the moment most of them just aren’t happening.
That’s not all there was to the envelope.
Invitations to my first and – so far – most glamorous literary prize event. I swanked about that quite enough back in 2017, so I won’t repeat myself now. All the same, it was quite a boost to my self-esteem to remember that I was there and I did that.
I don’t know if I can save the alien actress story. There are more words to it than that line, but there isn’t much more substance, and I have no idea what it needs. I’m almost certainly going to frog that blouse. Tony gave me one of his cycling jerseys and it fits me fine, and anyway, I haven’t been out on my road bike for well over two years.
That’s not really the point, though. The point is this: all the years when I wasn’t doing any knitting aren’t relevant now, when I am, when I’m finishing hats and socks all over the place, and looking forward to trying cables for the first time. I was knitting, and then I wasn’t, and now I am again. So I might as well trust that it’s going to be the same for writing, that I’m going to get back into it, writing notes to myself and turning them into stories within months or weeks.
Maybe there’ll be more glamorous prize nights. Or any sort of prize nights. I don’t mind. At the moment I’d just like to be sure that I’m going to get another book done – and I can’t be sure, because the only way to get a book done is to do it, and at the moment I’m not doing it. But I’m glad this particular fossil came to the surface: it makes me believe that I can.
Kathleen Jowitt 